The recent article by Melissa Hahn on Veteran Suicides really touched a nerve in me. Like the Edwin Starr song says, War, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing, nothing rings more true now. This situation is really unfortunate.
I really feel for these soldiers and his families. I pray that God in his infinite mercies will comfort and compensate them for their loss. It is really a shame to lose another life, this time not in combat but in a self inflicted suicide death.
I remember when the decision was made for America to go to war, I was at work and a group of co-workers gathered in my office to discuss it. As we talked it was pretty clear that I was the only one who knew that America was not that invincible. The others said it would be easy for America to go into Iraq, do what it wanted to do and come out.
Having schooled in Northern Nigeria amongst Muslims, I remember thinking to myself, ignorance is bliss; these people don’t know who they are dealing. When the war began I was watching a TV show about the lost boys of Sudan when one of the host parents said that before the war began the boys were very scared and he was telling them not to worry because the war would be an easy win for America.
However, they told him the same thing I knew, you don’t know who you are dealing with because they had been exposed to Islamic fanatics in Sudan. He said that as the war is progressing he is rethinking his stance. This TV show aired several years ago, I’m sure by now reality has dawned on him.
The person who made the decision for America to go to war made the decision in a nicely protected oval office as president. He had nothing to lose. Neither him nor anyone close to him was going to be part of the war, so oh well, let other people and their children go, and if they perish they perish. While people were being emotionally traumatized, losing limbs and dying on the battle field, he and his family members were enjoying their lives. He has retired back to Texas.
His daughters graduated from college while enjoy good press coverage in fashion magazines. In these times of war, his kids are doing very well. Jenna got married at a lavish wedding and has even become a correspondent on The Today show, the velocity with which she ascended the career ladder to get that position is magical. Barbara after working with pediatric AIDS patients in many parts of Africa returned to be president of Global Health Corps, non-profit organization. God bless her for having such a serving spirit.
I can only wonder how Mr. Bush, as a man and a parent feels about his decision with all the lives that are continually perishing physically and emotionally on and off the battle field. The bible says, blessed are the peace makers for they shall be called children of God. The good book does not say anything about war starters but I'm sure they get theirs.
Many times these naïve kids enlist as soldiers in the army with no knowledge of what they are getting themselves into. I have read that young men especially have deceptively low perception of fear and this adds to their bravado in wanting to go to war.
As one soldier who went to Iraq as a young handsome man but returned with both legs amputated and no control of his bowels or bladder said, “I went to Iraq to kick butt but it was my butt that was kicked”. Now he is like a toddler who relies on his mother to change his diapers every couple of hours. However, at least I guess they have something to be thankful for because he is alive and where there is life, there is hope, which is not even the case for many.
Another mother of a soldier who was killed in battle, whose body was flown in close to the time Jenna Bush was getting married said as she sobbed on the radio, “The Bush’s are planning a wedding in the white house, while I’m planning a funeral.” Well, as unfortunate as it is, such is life.
It’s easy to instruct someone else do the dirty job. In biblical times kings physically led wars so I’m sure the need for any war was well through before being embarked upon. That rule should be reinstated because if you know you will physically lead a war you will think twice about it, as your life is at stake along with the others.
The financial, emotional and physiological toll this war has put on this country in every facet is disheartening.
It is said that there are too few men and much more women in America already and this war has produced a slaughter house for these too few men so there will be even fewer men to go around. We will all reap the consequences as single women and fatherless children abound.
It’s just such a shame. The worst thing is that even after everything Obama said about bringing the troops home before he won the election, the reality is that the military can’t even pull out of Iraq now, because they are in too deep and backing out will destabilize the country. More importantly, backing out without catching Osama Bin Laden will look bad, so they forge ahead hoping to pull out responsibly at some point with no end date in sight. I’m sure Obama had good intentions but as with so many issues he has been facing since assuming office, things appeared so much simpler before he had to deal with them.
There’s nothing we can do now except pray for divine intervention to end this war and subsequently end the trauma and loss of lives and limbs accompanying it.
Stating Madonna's age as 61 is a typo on my part that I didn't catch before publishing the piece. I apologize for that. However, based on the comments, my blog post must’ve touched a nerve, and it appears more than what I wrote was read into it.
I’m guessing Flea isn’t Madonna’s fan. Aspects of the editorial may be “naïve” and Madonna may have said offensive things about other women, but that doesn’t make it right for Madonna or anyone else to do so. I don’t know where the “Liberal women pretend to be feminists, yet they will insult and mock conservative females” came from but that is a generalization.
My blog post is not about liberal vs. conservative women and asking women to not start or encourage negative remarks regarding other women’s ages is about sharing kindness among women, a sentiment which understandably may ring rather hollow to some, because they haven’t benefited from it. As a person who has benefited from some sisterhood among women, I know it makes all the difference.
That Madonna willingly chose to enter a profession where youth is highly prized is true but regardless of career field, women still experience some age ridicule because often a woman’s worth is based on her age and looks. Any person, male or female, should not be ridiculed because of their age.
Staying relevant by posing for photo spreads when promoting new albums is part of Madonna's job, and creating a clothing line inspired by her daughter is not “using her teen daughter,” nor does it show desperation. It’s just another career field she has chosen to explore like other people do. Double standards still exist, and male celebrities being ridiculed for their unhealthy looks is not the same as Madonna being ridiculed for her normal age progression because you can do a lot to manage your looks but you can’t do anything about your age.
Ultimately, what everyone including the news anchors and Madonna should remember is that if one doesn’t have something nice to say, it’s best one doesn’t say anything at all.
Posted by Miss Majek | May 3, 2010 9:13 AM
Dr. Chelal,
Thanks for the great article showing the cause of the negatives in cities. Living in close proximity to two cities namely Washington DC and Baltimore City, I cannot agree more as it is the same in cities everywhere. When I'm scheduled to go into a city, I am apprehensive because you never now what can occur.
From the often angry, drug addicted or jaded people walking around to the aggressive drivers who believe they own the roads, I find being in these cities unnerving. Recently, in both cities parking rates have been ridiculously increased and speed cameras installed to pay for the cities deficits. These cities often leave people who visit with a negative lasting memory.
The schools often have bad graduating statistics and high drop out rates. In Baltimore, there are even billboards that advertise the positives of marriage. This is to counter the statistics showing high rates of single parenting there. The lethal cocktail of low education levels and single parenting produces nothing positive.
As for a solution, I don't know what the solution is. At one time I used to believe relocation of people was the solution, but I was proved wrong. In DC years ago, they gave people incentives to move out and go to places like Laurel, MD, which was a nice suburb that is relatively close. In no time, Laurel took on many of the negative characteristics of where the people came from. Subsequently, many of the people and good stores in the mall, who were there before promptly moved out leaving Laurel to deteriorate. So I don't believe relocation is the solution anymore.
I really wish anyone or organization who can tackle city problems a lot of luck because they will certainly need it.
Posted by Miss Majek | February 9, 2010 12:08 PM
Thanks for this great article. As a former PC/LAN Technician, Network Engineer and Peoplesoft Analyst which are some of the titles I held among the many others in my information technology career, I can totally relate with Nevada's experience. There are no 40hr weeks it's more like 60 and above hours. Her case is not isolated at all. In America, high profile/high paying careers such as Information Technology careers have done a good job of destroying the social lives of so many women. It’s not only the career, it is the American work system. American companies also took this system to other countries such as India and Britain and most women had to quit their jobs.
Ultimately, we must realize that everything has a price and we must do what works best for us by finding the right balance for our lives. I would say that if Nevada truly enjoys her work she should look into creating her own company/working as an independent contractor in a location of her choice because with IT you can do a lot remotely and at her own pace. Also, she should look into getting her social life back because at 39 if she plans of ever having kids herself she might want to dedicate time to finding a partner.
I hope she works things out to live her best life. I'm doing it. Though it's like diving into the unknown, which can be a crazy, fun and confusing journey but you live and learn because it’s a new territory. However, at the very least you've changed things up and you are doing something different than you had before and that is rewarding.
Posted by Miss Majek | May 31, 2009 7:22 AM
Though it's always good to have options and I can't blame people for travelling abroad for cheaper and equitable treatment, however the American economy and society will suffer in the long run. For example, healthcare in America is out of the reach of many for various reasons. One major reason being the cost, so many people let a situation that could have been taken care of cheaply with early diagnosis linger till they have to go to the emergency room where they can't be refused treatment and they don't have to pay for it. So tax payers pay for it.
Thanks to the politicians, lobbyists, special interest groups and government officials dancing around issues, the healthcare/health insurance situation in America will stay expensive and out of the reach of many and people will find solutions to their problems through medical tourism, going to the emergency room with no insurance etc and the tax payer will pay for it.
However with the current bad economy with the lack of jobs being a major issue, the number of tax payers are dwindling so realistically speaking, things are not going to be the way they were and America needs to realize that and make drastic changes quickly to correct the situation.
Posted by Miss Majek | October 2, 2008 1:40 PM
As a feminist and writer myself, I commend Ms. Jones on writing her book but right now the relationship between America and some muslim countries are not good. Almost anything she as an American woman writes especially about the islamic religion,the Prophet Mohammed or his family members would not be perceived positively.
As we already see the book will get her a lot of attention catapulting her into stardom with a financial windfall in tow but there are other things to consider such as one's safety and when one looks at the big picture sometimes some topics are better left alone and considering the current US/Islamic world relations, I believe this is one of those topics that should be avoided by American authors at least for now.
Posted by Miss Majek | October 2, 2008 1:10 PM
As usual another chapter of African politics doesn't fail to embarrass me. It's really a shame though because I know that all that is being reported in this story is just the tip of the iceburg. Mugabe is used to power and of course he doesn't want to let go. What else is there for him to go to? He's been in office too long to be able to comprehend that he can exist as a regular citizen of the country. He will leave office one day, if not voluntarily he will be carried out in a coffin, either way its a matter of time since nothing lasts forever.
Posted by Miss Majek | June 20, 2008 1:43 PM
It's a shame that oil, the main Nigerian export and source of revenue will be affected by this crisis however, till the people in the Niger Delta and Nigerians are respected and adequately taken care of this will continue to happen.
The sums of money that go to the hands of elite few, the selection of a vice president from the region and token gestures the companies perform in the Niger delta are not enough. To say an oil company has "lost the trust" of the local community is an understatement.
To have local activists in the Ogoni region calling for Shell to come and contain the oil spill that has covered farmland and villages is ridiculous. Shell cannot do that and get away with it in their home country however the mentality that many companies including oil companies have is that you can do anything in Africa and get away with it as long as you bribe the right people.
People, especially the young are fed up with this attitude and strong young men are not particularly known for their dialog and diplomactic skills.
The article states, that last week the government revoked Shell's rights to drill for oil in Ogoni. This was after how many years of drilling and destroying the land and the lives of people in those areas?
At this point, I don't even know what the solution is to the problem other than all companies including oil companies learning to respect, adequately compensate and appreciate the people in the areas where they do business.
Posted by Miss Majek | June 19, 2008 4:05 PM
It's a shame that the world has come to this. Violence against women goes unchecked in many parts of the world. I watched in horror as it was being reported that children becoming rape victims is becoming more and more prevalent in Nigeria. The families also cover up the issue because they don't want their children to be labelled as rape victims which would deter men from marrying them.
I was talking to a well-travelled gentleman about this subject. He said that on the global scale women in the western world have it much better than anywhere else in the world, though these occurences do happen in the Western world as well. I guess after reading this story, one could say that. Therefore we women must champion the cause of the eradication of violence against women in the world starting in our own circles of influence.
Posted by Miss Majek | June 18, 2008 12:09 PM
As an African, reading the story made me sad, however, this is not new. The same thing happens in the US. There are countless numbers of African doctors especially Nigerian doctors, and they all have complaints about the unfair standards, though it is not as extreme as the one in this story.
I was recently at the Association of College Physicians conference in DC and nine out of ten black doctors there were Nigerians. I hear there are about 50,000 Nigerian doctors in the US not to mention the number of nurses. It is a trade albeit not fair. The foreign born health care professionals keep the countries they live in going, which is a loss to their home countries.
We can dress it up or down, the bottom line is, if you are not comfortable in your home country and you have to leave for greener pastures, you will encounter issues. Preference is usually show to the citizens of any nation. The best way around the situation is for the doctors to keep improving themselves in their field of specialization and expand their horizons to have better options. You are always treated better when it is known that you have options.
Posted by Miss Majek | June 18, 2008 11:51 AM
Great story. I was saddened by reading about the problems people are facing living there. However, I don't know about the elections bringing change. Things are not that straight forward in Africa. It's going to be an uphill battle to get the right person in power and make the changes needed to turn around a country that has been through what Zimbabwe has. I wish them luck but I know that they need so much more than that.
Posted by Miss Majek | April 23, 2008 5:56 AM